Are Women Taking On More Masculine Roles Than Ever Before?

By M.P. Pressley, Allegedly Media

Sit at almost any kitchen table in America and start asking questions. Who knows when Mama’s next doctor’s appointment is? Her daughter does. Who figured out how the family could afford that trip last summer, down to the gas money and the hotel? She did. Who got the call from the school, handled the discipline before supper, and then sat up half the night comforting a husband worried about his job? More and more often, the answer to all of it is the same person — the woman of the house. Roles that used to be called “the man’s job” are landing on her plate, one after another. So let’s ask it plain: are women taking on more masculine roles than ever before?

What the Numbers Say

This isn’t just a feeling. The Pew Research Center reports that in 45% of marriages today, the wife earns as much as her husband or more. In 29% of marriages the two spouses earn about the same, and in 16% the wife is the main or only breadwinner — up from just 5% back in 1972. The husband is still the main earner in most homes, but that share has dropped from 85% in 1972 to 55% today.

And here’s the part that really tells the story: even in homes where husband and wife earn about the same, Pew found that wives still spend about two more hours a week on caregiving and about two and a half more hours on housework than their husbands do. The paycheck may be shared now. The load at home, a lot of times, is not.

The Roles Are Shifting

The breadwinner. For many families, the woman’s income is no longer the “extra” money — it’s the money the mortgage depends on.

The discipline. “Wait till your father gets home” used to settle a household. These days, Mama often handles it right then and there, because she’s the one who is there, or the one the school calls first.

Checking on the elders. When a parent starts needing rides to appointments, help with medicine, or somebody to sit with them at the hospital, it’s usually a daughter or daughter-in-law who steps in. AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving found that 61% of family caregivers in this country are women — 63 million Americans are caring for a loved one, and most caregivers are women around 51 years old, right in the middle of everything.

The planning. The vacations get planned by her, the holidays, birthdays, doctor visits, church events — the family’s whole calendar lives in her head. If she didn’t plan it, it likely wouldn’t happen.

The comforting. When her husband has a bad day, a lost job, or a heavy heart, she’s his shoulder. But ask around and you’ll hear a fair question: when she’s carrying all of that, who comforts her?

Why the Shift?

There doesn’t seem to be one cause — there are several, stacked together.

Money is tighter. One paycheck rarely stretches the way it once did. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, both spouses work in about half of all married-couple families. Two incomes aren’t a statement anymore; for most households, they’re a necessity.

Women went to school. Among adults ages 25 to 34, 47% of women now hold a bachelor’s degree, compared with 37% of men — a gap that didn’t exist a generation ago. More degrees mean more women qualifying for the steadier, better-paying jobs.

Men’s work got less steady. Plenty of good men work hard in trades, factories, and seasonal labor, but those jobs don’t always come with steady hours or pay. When his hours get cut, her paycheck becomes the one the family counts on.

Women live longer. The CDC reports women can expect to live to about 81, men to about 76 — a gap of roughly five years. That means daughters and wives are often the ones still standing when parents and spouses need care — the family’s health keepers by default.

When the Load Gets Too Heavy

There’s a harder side to this conversation, and it shows up in the divorce numbers.

The overall divorce rate has actually been falling for years — the CDC counted about 672,500 divorces in 2023, a rate of 2.4 per 1,000 people, down from 4.0 back in 2000. Fewer marriages are ending than a generation ago. But look at who is doing the ending. Stanford sociologist Michael Rosenfeld, tracking more than 2,200 adults in the national “How Couples Meet and Stay Together” survey, found that women initiated 69% of divorces — nearly seven out of every ten — while men initiated 31%.

And here’s the detail that should make all of us sit up: in dating and live-in relationships, Rosenfeld found no real difference — men and women walk away at about the same rate. The gap shows up inside marriage itself, where married women also reported lower relationship quality than married men. His reading of it is hard to shake: it’s not that women have changed — it’s that the load inside a lot of marriages hasn’t. When one person is carrying the paycheck, the discipline, the elders, the planning, and the comforting, something eventually gives. The divorce filing is often just the last chapter of a story that started with an uneven load.

A Word From the Heart

None of this makes a home a failure. Scripture has never been surprised by a strong woman — the wife in Proverbs 31 considers a field and buys it, works with willing hands, and her household is held together by her care. A family isn’t built on who does what “on paper.” It’s built on love, respect, and two people willing to carry the load together — and on noticing when one of them is carrying too much of it alone.

Now It’s Your Turn

So let’s talk about it, because I’d rather hear from real families than just read studies. Do you agree or disagree — are women taking on more of the traditional “man’s roles” than they used to? Is it happening in your family? Who brings home the bigger paycheck, who handles the discipline, who checks on the elders — and does it work for y’all, or is it wearing somebody down?

Resources for Women (and Families) Carrying the Load

• AARP Family Caregiving Resource Center — guides and checklists for caring for parents and loved ones: https://www.aarp.org/caregiving
• Caregiver Action Network — free support and a Caregiver Help Desk, 855-227-3640: https://caregiveraction.org
• Eldercare Locator — free national service connecting you to local elder help, 1-800-677-1116: https://eldercare.acl.gov
• National Alliance for Caregiving — research and resources for family caregivers: https://www.caregiving.org
• Consumer Financial Protection Bureau — free budgeting, debt, and planning tools: https://www.consumerfinance.gov
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988 any time if the load feels like too much: https://988lifeline.org
• Your local church family — many churches run caregiver support groups, meal trains, and respite help. Don’t be ashamed to ask yours.